The Pros And Cons of Pissing In Your Wetsuit

If you’ve surfed in a wetsuit you’ve undoubtedly given in to letting ‘er rip…and pissing all over yourself.  Here’s some of the pro’s and con’s associated with pissing your wetsuit.

Pros

1. Momentary warmth – pretty nice in 45° water

2. Eliminates an extra return paddle out

3. You don’t have to peel off/on your wet wetsuit

4. Eliminates some of that belly pressure when paddlin

5. Holding your piss for hours is good for your pee-pee control*

Cons

1. If you have a nice new wetsuit…the piss stays in, and could make it’s way to your neck hole, which is close to your mouth hole

2. Piss contains acid and enzymes that can slowly deteriorate neoprene*

3. Piss contains bacteria that can lead to staph infection and other puss resulting grossness*

4. Piss smells like piss

5. Can lead to premature development of incontinence*

6. Can attract undesired sea life attention

Personally, i hold my piss as long as i can or paddle in and water some bushes.  …Especially if i’m away from fresh water rinsing opportunities.  Still it’s rough when you’re full of 4Loko or whatever else you’re sipping on beach-side to hold that shit in.  Gotta stay hydrated.

Idea jackd from this guy:  http://theoatmeal.com/comics/peeing_sitting_down

*Unsubstantiated and completely made up.  But it sounds right.