Over the years there have been quite a few winter ski comedies. Most are cheesy, some are bad, and a few are all time. Ever wonder which one is the best? We did.

There’s a lot of sites out there that review and critique various ski movies–talking about plot lines, protagonists, and epilogues–weird theater dork stuff.  Really, when it comes down to it there are three things that make a ski movie good. Pow, booze and tits.

We’ve tallied each ski scene, each booze scene, and each tit scene in the 10 movies below.  These three criteria are then summed resulting in the best winter ski movie–as shown through simple math.

See the “nwBroweather Quantitative Analysis for Winter Ski Comedies” table below.

Hot Dog…The Movie – 1984

Filmed at Squaw Valley this film is a cult fucking classic. If for some reason you haven’t seen this movie you have disgraced yourself and should check it out immediately. It came out in the 80′s when comedy was awesome. So it’s full of tits and beer and cussing and powder. Right off the bat there’s an epic bar scene complete with an wet t-shirt contest. Then later in the movie there’s an amazing Shannon Tweed scene.

Easily one of the raddest winter shred flicks ever.

Better Off Dead – 1985

Better Off Dead was filmed in Utah–Alta, Brighton, and Snowbird. Although a little on the sappy side it’s pretty funny. John Cusak in one of his first major roles gets ruthlessly dumped by his girlfriend and tries to kill himself.  Then he does a ski contest and hooks up with a hot French chick.

Better Off Dead also stars Booger from Revenge Of The Nerds who thinks everything is drugs.

Ski Patrol – 1990

Filmed in Park City, Utah. A decent slap stick style comedy made by the producers of the Police Academy movies staring a few of the same actors. There’s a scene where the Ski Patrol trainees rip down Canis Lupis at the Canyons.  Check it out if you ever get to the Canyons–it’s a tighter, sketchier Banked Slalom.  Ski Patrol features a cameo by King 5 Morning News guy Brad Goode.

There was minimal booze footage and zero boobs. 

Ski School – 1991

Prior to this mathematical analysis, i’d never seen Ski School. I’m ashamed. If you haven’t seen it you should be too. If you tried to write a script for the best ski movie plot, you’d probably come up with something like Ski School. Plenty of skiing, tits, beer, practical jokes, snowball fights, villains, and playboy centerfolds.

All time.  Watch it.

Aspen Extreme -1993

Holy shit where do i start. T.J. Burke, Dexter Rutecki, Powder 8′s. Probably the only ski movie with a legit plot and decent acting. A couple dudes decide to get the F outta Detroit and post up in Aspen to live the dream. They get mixed up in drugs, crevasses, rich chicks and the shit hits the fan. Pretty sure Dumb and Dumber was loosely based on Aspen Extreme. No boobs but still a solid flick.

R.I.P. Rutecki

Snowboard Academy – 1996

Corey Haim and Jim Varney aka “Vern” star in Snowboard Academy. The premise of this flick is the “skiers vs snowboarders” bs which in 1996 when this flick came out was still alive and well.  Jim Rippey, Seth Miller, Roan Rogers are the stunt shreds.  Filmed at Chanteceler Ski Resort and Mont Tremblant, Quebec.

Snowboarders win.

Out Cold – 2001

Out Cold was filmed in Canada. It’s stacked with all kinds of 90′s former pro-shred stunt doubles. Todd Richards weaseled his way into this flick somehow and plays the roll of a paralyzed pilot.  Horrible.  Zach Galifianakis also plays a role in this flick and encounters ding-ding trauma such as: getting stuck in a hot tub jet, and polar bear felatio.

This movie will make you dislike Weezer even more.

Frostbite – 2005

Pretty sure this movie went straight to DVD.  There’s no way this could have possibly made it to theaters.  The intro is loaded with stock footage from Warren Miller movies which means lots of mute stiffys.  Aside from the mediocre acting, shitty shred shots, and weak comedy this is actually a full on snowboard movie–no skiing.  Traci Lords plays a coffee ho in this flick.  Similar story line as Out Cold–get the mountain back from the bad guys.

I can’t believe i watched the whole movie.

Shred – 2008

People waste time on this fine planet doing stupid things.  In my case i lost an hour and a half watching Shred.  Really, i only watched this cause it was rated R.  I hoped that Tom Green, Jackass’s Dave England, and Renee Renne might bring something to the screen.  Decent stunt shredding by legit Canadians (Wildcats) with a cameo by Chris Brown who plays a bad-guy-halfpipe-jock and misses his grabs.

Thank god there was no poo-cano.

Hot Tub Time Machine – 2010

John Cusack, Rob Corddry and a few friends travel back in time (via a magical hot tub) to 1986 and beat up some ski patrol db’s, go to a Poison show, and are mistaken as Commies by some wanna-be Red Dawn jocks.  Best line:  “If I wanted to kill myself, I’d be awesome at it…shotgun to the dick!”  Chevy Chase makes a cameo as the Hot Tub repair guy.

This movie was hilarious. If you didn’t think so you’re fighting your brain.

The nwBroweather Quantitative Analysis for Winter Ski Comedies

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