Unlike Colorado, Utah, California and many other States, Washington has enjoyed an open backcountry policy (source). Until now. If Senate Bill 5186 passes this Monday(1/24/11) you could face a $1,000 fine if you go out of bounds or into a closed area.
A person shall not ski on a ski slope, trail, or area that is designated by a ski area operator as closed to the public and that has signs posted indicating the closure. Any person who violates the provisions of this subsection commits a civil infraction and is subject to a monetary penalty of up to one thousand dollars.
If you do decide to disregard your safety and the safety of others, want to piss off the Ski Patrol, break the law, and/or risk a 1G fine, here’s a few ideas that might help you avert capture.
1. Bet on Black.
A lot of outerwear looks like a bucket of colored barf. Example 1. Example 2. Example 3. Maybe Santa hooked you up with some sweet gear this year. Now you may think it looks good, which makes you feel good, which may even make you ride good, but you’re visible from a mile away. In a blizzard. Through foggy goggles.
You duck a rope with that shit on and the Johnny Law Ski Patrol are gonna see and remember you. Maybe you were able to out-shred one of ‘em and get away, but you’re never gonna be faster than a radio. Here’s how it will go down on the radios:
With fruity gear:
Ski Patrol #1: “Johnny to Base, Johnny to Base. We got a hot boarder on the run. Over.”
Base: “Roger that Johnny. What was he wearing?”
Ski Patrol #1: “Bright yellow pants with a hot-pink and lime-green polka dotted coat. Over.”
Base: “Whoa! Jesus. Alrighty…we spotted him.”
With black gear:
Ski Patrol #1: “Johnny to base. Johnny to base. We got a hot boarder on the run. Over.”
Base: “Roger that Johnny. What was he wearing?”
Ski Patrol #1: All black. Head to toe.
Base #2: Well, chalk this one up as a loss. We’ll never find him…
Ski Patrol #1: 10-4.
2. Weak Link
Though slightly ruthless, riding with friends who are prone to falling might be smart. For example, say you and a bro or two are ripping down some closed zone with the Fun Police hot on your ass. If one of your bros goes down, chances are Johnny Law gonna stop chasing you and bust your bro. As long as your bro doesn’t rat you out you’re good to go.
Remember–snitches end up in ditches.
3. Super Hos
Say you’re tearing ass down some zone and you stop to catch your breath and/or pause to reflect on the sick pow turn you just made. Next thing you know you hear someone yelling from down below. There you see a Redcoat right in the middle of your exit plan. No way to escape. You’re fucked! Or are you?
Here’s what you do. Point it, get a bunch of speed then last minute turn hard and hose this muthafucka right off his feet! Here’s inspiration:
Make sure you’re wearing black.
4. Peace Offering
Say you do get nabbed. You decided to obey and relinquish your pass (sissy). Ski Patrol have been known to be reasonable when nugs are involved. Try to work out a deal.
Be weary with offerings to weekend/volunteer ski patrol. They are the ones with fresh, clean looking gear and are also typically clean shaven. Some of them could be tha police.
5. Rosham-bro
You are in an “out of bounds” are with a few friends. You all rip. You are spotted en route to your exit. You could all go down in flames or one of you could take one for the team. Quickly bust out a “rosham-bro”. Whoever loses agrees to either stay put till the fun police show up or proceed to the shit show below. Winning bros are on their own with plenty of distraction and/or cover from loosing bro to get away clean.
For his sacrifice, losing bro will be rewarded beers until his shred privileges are reinstated. Additionally he will be gas money exempt for the rest of the year.
Read this to learn how to kill it at Roshambro.
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In all reality without Ski Patrol lotsa people would be dead. Unlike Euros, Americans lack common sense and can’t deal with unpatroled/off-piste/closed areas. We need our hands held here.
Ski Patrol busts their asses to keep shit safe for gapers like you and me. So think twice before you enter a closed area. Maybe buy a Patroller a beer next time you see one in a bar.
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Lets hear more about the Canadian…. and Potland I guesss….invasion!
http://markomcinnis.blogspot.com/
again, seems to be some intelligent blog work put in here, however… didn’t read it all. skimmed it, AND… #3 is good FUN, however not sure this is effective for elusive escape, just PLAIN AND SIMPLE, good harmless FUN. Good whitewash session a couple weeks ago at Silver Fir when it was ACTUALLY COLD for a minute, and SUNNY, on an “off” Sunday where little actual line-ducking conditions were called for. Thnx for posting u-toob of these tactics, good times/mamm0iries.
nice
Detection avoidance and camouflage are two of smans specialties.
Consider camouflage or invisibility as a detection mitigation strategy to add into your list. Black is pimp for the lift line, but remaining invisibles entirely might be a good strategy. Hunting stores have a boat load of clearance winter cover gear, and simple white paint zip over suits work well.
completely nullified by your weak disclaimer at the end.
STAY CHISEL
Yeah I wouldn’t really buy em a beer.
companies should start making reversible jackets so when you are spotted, get out of site, reverse the jacket, and you are home free!
well, in the future we’ll probably get outerwear that incorporates nano technology–we’ll be able to change the color of our gear, or go completely invisible. like wonder woman’s jet.
read this: http://www.sciencentral.com/articles/view.php3?article_id=218391833
i bet Burton is already working on it…
also, I carry all my old passes, so I will just forfeit an old pass and pretend to be all butt hurt, then continue shredding haha
this is awesome! I particularly dig the rosham-bro option. Niiiice!
Funny blog! But that law (which has been passed and as of last week has been enforced) is there for a reason. Dead men don’t wear plaid!
FUCK THE POLICE! FUCK THE GOV.. I pay taxes… IF i want to kill myself thats my problem and my RIGHT… How about the GOV worry about HWY 99…Or the huge lack of money we have for all gov programs and stay the FUCK out of the BC…
and drex if i ever watch you buy a patroller a beer you are gona be wearing it!!!!!