The other week while sarfing down in Mexico myself and half our surf-gang were eating lunch at a local restaurant. Mid-chow some gal rolled through the restaurant and asked if any of us spoke English. I thought it kinda odd to ask us if we spoke English since we were yapping loudly and pretty American looking. Maybe not.
This girl, probably in her late 20′s was smiley and nice but had a distinct loopyness about her. After confirming English she asked us if she could “borrow one of the surfboards” from the rental shop. We all said, or thought something along the lines of “well, you have to pay to rent the boards.” Credit card deposit, 20 bucks a day, standard stuff.
We went back to our meal, she dove into the rental process. A bit later she emerged with a 5’5″ twin with no leash and two bars of wax. She waved goodbye and mumbled more weird shit as she headed to the beach.
The beach in this particular area is what i’d call a great beginner spot (see pic below). There’s a nice long stretch of sand, the waves are mellow, and aside from a few pretty obvious rocks is about as safe as it gets.
During the 10 or 15 minutes after she split we razed the single guy about “giving a surf lesson”, or “checking up on her”, or “showing her how to wax a board”, etc. Single guy decided it’d be a good idea to check on her. Renting a tiny fish, no leash and two bars of wax indicated she didn’t know what the hell she was doing.
5 mins later single guy returned and told us that she was “on the rocks.” Convo went something like this:
Single Bro: “It looks like she’s on the rocks.”
Us: “What?! On the rocks? Like down on the the point?”
Single Bro: “Yeah. She’s crawling out of the water, on the rocks at the point.”
Us: “WTF? She’s gonna get fucked up.”
Single Bro: “Probably.”
We wrapped up our cena and b-lined it to the beach out of genuine concern for this chick. The rocks in this zone are sharp, and littered with urchins (think this). If you’re on the rocks, you’re gonna bleed. The swell wasn’t very big at this time of day but it doesn’t take much water to knock you around. When i got to the beach i looked down towards the point and there she was, crawling out on the rocks. A second later a wave rolled in and swatted her off her feet like a fly. She tumbled around floating and bouncing off the rocks in the white water. I cringed. See animation –>
This chick was receiving a beat down about 150 yards away from where we were standing. I looked a little closer and it looked like she wasn’t wearing anything on her lower body. I mentioned to my buddy, “dude, i don’t think she’s wearing any bottoms?!” I looked closer, hard to tell at that distance… Yep, she didn’t have any bottoms on. Getting blasted by waves like that could rip a bikini right off no problem. Then i looked a little closer…wait a minute, she’s totally naked (the realization of naked process took about 5 seconds). By the time we made it down to the shore where she was climbing out she had been pushed far enough over the rocks to be out of any serious danger.
Single Bro offered his t-shirt to cover herself up with. “No thanks, im good” she said. Whoa#1. This chick had climbed out the rocks, was chilling on the beach, naked and bleeding. Whoa#2. Her board was still out in the water. Then a wave came in and tossed it on the rocks. Figured it was gonna be in pieces, but when we managed to grab it…barely a scratch. Surftech. Whoa#3.
We asked if she was ok. She said yes. Along with some other barely coherent babbling. She mentioned she was staying in the Mansion right behind where we were standing on the beach. She said we all had the “key”. Whoa#4. Then, referring to her surfboard she said, “you gotta wax those things for grip!” Whoa #5.
Evidently she had taken her clothes off prior to getting in the surf. She also walked out on the rocks rather than paddling in from the beach. She said a few more weird, loopy things before we went on our way. Single Bro escorted her, naked and bleeding to her friends who took over.
The End.
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And I missed it because someone found the local mota stash and insisted having cheap beers.
G.F.S. = great fucking story. Single guy needs a monster energy drink as he should of sea urchined the hell out of that broad.
pretty good recap Drex.
Thank god I was an eye witness, there is no possible way to accurately describe the chain of events to do it the proper justice that it deserves. You truly had to talk to the girl to understand how crazy she was. The one detail you missed: Apparently 'crazy' did indeed paddle out with her clothes on. However it gets more interesting than that. She took them off once she washed herself up onto the urchins… I guess she told 'single guy' that the rocks needed her swimsuit more than she did. Maybe some sort of drug induced offering?? If the waves hadn't have been so damn good, that would have been the highlight of the trip. A close second anyways…..
mexico sounds fun!
man.. rad… the animations are super rad and almost make up for the lack of real photo’s .. probably better to imagine it all anyway… 2up
good recap drex
I was an eye witness to this, but it still seems a bit surreal. Bloody naked girl inviting us up to her mansion to take a shower/ ………. I pretty much couldn't even make up a story that cool. I'm glad 'single guy' got to make the best of the situation and help her out. Also, one correction drex. …..she actually did paddle out with a suit apparently. She waited until 'single guy' was helping her and she stripped it off. I guess she said , and i quote, "the rocks needed the bathing suit more than she did." Its cool she can talk to rocks.
she can ' talk to rocks'….nothing more needs to be said. i hope 'single guy' doesn't find any strange pee-pee lumps or bumps if he indeed 'help' her. sounds more like a Europe situation than Mex.
That’s so funny!