Surfing is a way of life. You’re either a surfer or you surf–there’s a difference (i surf). Like with all ways of life, there are rituals. Rituals serve to condition the mind, celebrate, give thanks, prepare oneself, whatever, etc.
One of my rituals is the pre-surf shit. I cannot enter the water and surf effectively without landward doo-doo purge. Almost as important as the act itself is the location. Here’s a list of 5 spots that depending on urgency/proximity i’ve left my “mark.”
01 Fishermans Parking Lot. This spot is decent. It’s on the way to the Groins and is usually stacked with fishermans. There’s two stalls in this gem but be careful…the last stall doesn’t lock. Make sure you knock before entering. Last thing you want to do before a surf session is bust in on another man on the shitter. That’ll make you surf like butt for at least an hour while you get the vision of some dirty fisherman with his pants around his rubber boots out of your head.
02 – Fishermans Memorial Shitter. This spot is a bit deep. I like to jog down here sometimes for a pre surf warm up before getting in at the Groins. If you are scared of people walking in on you shitting then this spot is not for you. This particular shitter doesn’t have a door on it. Straight up raw. Like fishermen. Shit here if you don’t give a fuck.
03 – The Jetty. Tried and true, there are 4 shitters here. The Jetty shitters are maintained by the State of WA so they use economically efficient supplies (single-ply). What that really means is the butt-rags here work well for ass-gaskets…but you gotta be careful. Last thing you want to do is blow through the thin paper mid wipe and touch poo. That’ll eff up your session for sure. Also, be sure to wipe the seat…everyone seems to love to sprinkle the tinkle all over the seats here.
04 – The Westwind Cafe. Nothing like some greazy sausage and gut rot coffee to prime the pump. Usually i just touch the coffee cup and it’s go time. The bathroom here is relatively nice. Be careful though. It’s easy to cause toilet malfunction. Potential double flush situation here. Think ahead.
05 – The Rocks at the Groins. Sometimes a chain of events can lead to emergency situations. While these events are occurring you usually don’t know that you’re on a path to destruction. All you really can do is learn from your mistakes, recognize future situations and hopefully stop them before they start. Read this story to learn what not to do.
Honorable Mention – The Hungry Whale port-a-potty. Do bean and cheese burritos, pizza pockets, beef and bean buritos, taquitos, chicken fingers or any other deep fried food sound good? Then the Hungry Whale is what you’re looking for. Located just before the Jetty parking lot on the right. The Hungry Whale has a nice selection of current surf mags along with some quality nudie mags. Perfect for that lonely port-a-potty session out back. Go big bro.
the islander too. its nice and clean and theres a basket of free candy.
you, know…i’ve never actually been there. never had breakfast either. heard it’s good. i’ve only had they bloody marys which are really good. spensive though.
good report and content, careful on blowing out the secret spots though
There’s a very nice crapper right across the street from The Groins. It’s been a while, but I think it’s a bar/motel/nick nack store. I seem to remember taking a dump then picking up a Coke and a Slim Jim to reinvigorate.
ah. that’s the Islander now. free candy with ya dumps.
Anyone ever launch a hot snake? Ya know coiled one in their suit.
is that even possible?
i dropped boardshort outside the lineup at the Ranch in Mex a couple years ago… chummed the water, fish food…. just gotta send your board the right direction and get a mellow back stroke away from the carnage; and hope a cleanup set rolls through soon (emergencies only, this is NOT enviro friendly)
I had a similar experience in mex. Had a semi’ long hike to get down to the spot we were going to and had a bad case of mexi revenge. Ran out, jumped in the water only to be followed in by another surfer. Had to drop trow anyway, i’m pretty sure the dood paddled right through my shit storm. …. i must say though, pooping while submerged in water is an experience noone should deny themselves. The worst part was trying to paddle and poop at the same time as so you don’t find yourself marinating in your poo.
It’s amazing that you guys just can’t hold it in longer. Maybe something to do with your bunghole being real loose.
I dont know about loose holes, but Mexico definitely brings the butt carnage out of me.
Seriously, be careful where you eat – not fun.
jeez. i’ve managed to escape the Revenge everytime i’ve been down in Mex. sounds like im lucky…
Nah brahs. Done the tropo-boardie poop many times, a technique in itself esp if you’re a dawn patroller like myself.
But the hot snake is possible. Maybe not on purpose, but combine the dinner variables of Rainer and fried deli case food and a crack-a-dawn patrol and you may just launch you own hot snake.
This is pretty funny. So glad I’ll probably never end up in Westport, but I can tell you I will think of you anytime I see “Fishermans” anything.
Snowone forgot to mention that 3 days after he floated that barge in Mex, a series of shark attacks began in the area. 2 out of 3 fatal. No joke.
dude, that’s some heavy shit…
must have been the COLON CLEANSE stashed in the airstream. CC and OJ, lobster and carne asada chum!
Grab your guns fools… Razor clam dig is on……….
clamming for sure.. to bad the weather is going to suck this weekend, along with the waves.